Anime: After War Gundam X
Music: Madonna, "Frozen"
Type of Video: Character Profile, Drama, Angst
Bitrate: Approx. 705 kbps
Completion Date: 3.16.2002
File Size: 30.7 MB
I always swore once I started making AMV's that I'd never use a mainstream or pop song for one of my videos, as I wanted to keep them as original as possible that way (that and I barely like any mainstream music anymore), but of course, when I said that to myself, I never expected to have such a song so clearly define something in real life.
Just days before I started working on this, I had my heart broken very badly by someone I really loved, basically in that he wasn't returning the same feelings I felt for him, and it left me terribly depressed. A very short time after that, I looked through my music collection to find a song that best fit my situation, and "Frozen" was without a doubt the best one I had. And as I listened to the song a couple times over, I began to realize just how much it fit Jamil's stoic, seemingly "cold-hearted" personality as well, especially in how Sala Tyrrell, his second-in-command, really seems to have a thing for him but he doesn't seem to care. Because of that, this video concept--my most personal yet--was born. I know I already did a video about Jamil in my very first one (being "Captain Jamil," of course), but while that video's purpose was to try to show who Jamil was as an all-around character because so few people had paid any attention to him in other GX AMV's that had been done before that, this one was meant to show more of a darker side and what makes him the "frozen" individual he is.
Although it was my most personal video yet, it was also my most difficult and time-consuming video yet, taking five long days to edit--the longest yet for any of my videos--in that horribly buggy and crash-prone program that is Windows Movie Maker, so this certainly wasn't without some headaches along the way. I once again had to use DivX-encoded source footage (so the picture quality in this ranges from very good in most parts to, well . . . bleh . . . in a few others), but that was only because I tried ripping from my bootleg DVD's and couldn't figure out for the life of me how to fix up the picture quality to look as good as some of the encodes I had (not to mention that I certainly didn't have enough hard drive space to rip all 39 episodes--nearly all of which have at least one clip in here from--and have them at a decent quality without resorting to encoding them in DivX to save space >_<). But editing all of this and getting the timing right on all the beats and whatnot was certainly a challenge. If nothing else, one would have to give me points for effort for merely putting up with this cruddy program and working so hard to get the timing as much as I did. However, I really do think that if I had a decent program like Premiere or whatever, I could've been able to add in a lot of overlays that could've made the feel of this video even more emotional than I already tried to do with the long fades, but alas, I'm stuck with one of the most hated video-editing programs out there as the only way to realize my vision.
Aside from the intricate timing, also take note of some of the recurring themes that show up throughout the video. The most obvious one will be on the "If I could melt your heart" and "We'd never be apart" lines in the chorus, where I consistently try to show scenes of Sala trying to pursue Jamil but is never able to get him to realize how she feels about him. Granted, I really don't like Sala as a character, but it mirrors my real-life problems of trying to show my particular someone that I still love him and that he's not acknowledging it (although still acknowledging my existence), so that's why I chose to emphasize this in the video. There's also Jamil's old photo of him at 15 years old with Lucille Lilliant, his one-time superior officer in the Federation that he has long carried a torch for even after she disappeared at the end of the war 15 years ago, as "the key," as it shows one of the reasons why he's not acknowledging Sala's feelings for him and also showing that he has a tendency to hold onto the past too much (which is also evidenced in using numerous clips from the various flashback scenes shown throughout the series). As for the reason I used the scenes I did in the "Give yourself to me" line, you'll have to look at all of them and watch the one in the final chorus closely to understand the meaning of that, not to mention any other subtle recurring themes I threw in (that and I'm just too lazy to try to explain all of them here -_-).
When it comes to one of my most favorite parts of this, there really isn't too much symbolic meaning to this part, but I really like the part of the second verse with "Love is a bird/She needs to fly/Let all the hurt inside of you die," and the clips and transitions I used for them. Everything flowed together so well in that sequence that it makes this line, which I feel best sums up how I feel about the person who broke my heart, all the more emotional to me.
I don't know if I could consider this the best video I've done so far, or if I'd ever enter it in any contests or anything, but it's certainly the one that means the most to me emotionally, and I think that's what matters more than anything else. And I don't know if this will change how the person I dedicated this to will feel about me once he sees this, as he's a Gundam fan too and has an understanding of GX and its characters as well (it was one of the things that had first brought us together before all of this), but either way, this is my way of showing both him and the world what he really means to me by way of my favorite anime character.